I have received several emails about our bankruptcy endeavor....I have struggled with whether I should keep the details private. When I started this blog, I promised to be candid about the different struggles we encounter in the face of cancer, and the bankruptcy is just part of our journey.
It was not an easy decision to make, that is for certain. We did not make our decision without much prayer and legal counsel. And, when the time came, the decision was confirmed in both Wes' and my spirit. We know that the "things" we have are of this world, not our own, but rather just on loan and very temporary. And, we believe God's promise in Jeremiah 29:11 that His will is NOT to harm us but to give us hope and a future. So, we took the step of faith, knowing that He will never, ever forsake us or stop providing for us. The step to file bankruptcy is not a result of poor managment of our money. Wes and I have worked diligently to honor God with our finances. Even more so, we are not filing bankruptcy because a lack of income when Wes was unable to work during his cancer treatments or during the time I took off to recover and heal my spirit. The bankruptcy is a result of the outstanding medical bills we have. As our lawyer said, we faced a life event that was totally out of our control. So, as all families must do, we had to prioritize. What is important to us? First, it is imperative to save money for an emergency fund. When we got the cancer diagnosis, we had money in savings and that played a vital role in sustaining us throughout the cancer treatments. I think that the advice to have 3 months of salary (both yours and your spouse's) in savings is fantastic!! Our second priority, is to save a substantial amount of money for college for Derek, Jaden,and Claire. If we attempted to pay off the medical debt in our lifetime, we would have to pay about $500/month - which would leave a minimal amount each month to put in savings. And, if we were unable to eliminate the medical debt before the end of our lives, the debt would become the responsibility of our children. Finally, it is greatly important to us to save money for ourselves. Wes and I have NEVER had a honeymoon!! So that is our first goal. In addition, we want to save for retirement!!
Our lawyer has helped implement a bankruptcy plan that will allow us to keep both our cars and our home. (THANK YOU, GOD!!!! PRAISE YOU!!) It will be on our credit reports for 7 years, but we have found a peace about that - it all goes back to trusting Him to provide.
This would be the ideal time for me to get on my soapbox about healthcare in America. How we have such incredible medical debt when both Wes and I had insurance, paid our premiums, and met our deductible is beyond my understanding. I still am a proponent of health insurance. And, I do not necessarily believe in socialized medicine. There are components of the current healthcare reform bill that I disagree with, however, I do see great error in a healthcare system that results in situations like the one our family is facing.
I would urge you to take the time to research the information published about the proposed healthcare reform......things need to change, and I pray that our nation is led in a way that will provide greater coverage for ALL Americans, no matter their social status or income. Ok - I am off my soapbox. :)
I hope this answers the questions many of you have sent. I am glad to share more if it will help any of you better understand the process. I would ask that you pray for our family, that we keep our focus on our faith, and that our trust in Him will be rewarded.
February 2, 2010
January 29, 2010
These are a few of my favorite things....
I love finding great deals, and in the midst of our cancer/bankruptcy "aftermath" I am facing the challenge of downsizing our budget and finding great deals. These are a few of my new favorite things that are easy on the pocketbook AND super great products:
My favorite powder has always been the pressed powder from Origins, but at $32 per compact, I decided that was one luxury I could do without. So, much to my surprise - I have become a HUGE fan of CoverGirl TruBlend pressed powder. It is the same coverage as the Origins and is less than $10. I have tried CoverGirl powder before and the colors didn't match my olive skin tone very well. However the TruBlend really does blend well - I use the "Translucent Honey" and love it!
I am also a huge fan of the new Maybelline Color Plush eyeshadows. I usually by MAC eyeshadows, but they are $17/ per pot and each pot only has one color. In this Maybelline set, there are four colors and they have the same intensity and feel as MAC. And, again, they are less than $10!! I love the "Give Me Gold" set.
My favorite powder has always been the pressed powder from Origins, but at $32 per compact, I decided that was one luxury I could do without. So, much to my surprise - I have become a HUGE fan of CoverGirl TruBlend pressed powder. It is the same coverage as the Origins and is less than $10. I have tried CoverGirl powder before and the colors didn't match my olive skin tone very well. However the TruBlend really does blend well - I use the "Translucent Honey" and love it!
I am also a huge fan of the new Maybelline Color Plush eyeshadows. I usually by MAC eyeshadows, but they are $17/ per pot and each pot only has one color. In this Maybelline set, there are four colors and they have the same intensity and feel as MAC. And, again, they are less than $10!! I love the "Give Me Gold" set.The greatest deal I have found is at THE DOLLAR TREE!!!! Can you believe it??? My favorite shampoo and conditioner are by Nexxus, but, of course they cost a pretty penny. The Dollar Tree now carries a line called "Salon Care" and I decided to try the imitation Nexxus shampoo and conditioner. (I figured at $1/each, what do I have to lose, right?) I kid you not - I can't even tell a difference!! The smell is a bit different BUT my hair feels EXACTLY the same as when I use Nexxus!!!!!! So cool!
Two other things I just have to share: First, Pledge has a new multisurface cleaner. I can clean my solid oak dining room table AND the mirrors in my house with the same product - no streaks at all!! And, the best part is that it is fragranced with the Febreeze Lavander Vanilla fragrance, so it smells divine. Second: Wes can tell you that my LEAST favorite chore is ironing....I would rather scrub toilets!! So, I decided to try Downy Wrinkle Releaser......OMG......go out and buy some NOW!! You will love it! Right after your clothes come out of the dryer, spray this bad boy on them, give them a good shake, hang them on your hanger and when you wear them, they look like they have been pressed at the cleaners!!! LOVE IT!!
If any of you have some great deals...pass it on! I am lovin' this!
January 27, 2010
Challenge
Wes and I have started something that I want to share with you, and challenge you to incorporate into your daily routine.
Each morning we choose a family to pray for. We pray for the health and safety for each individual in that particular family. Then, after we have prayed for that family, we pray for our own family. It is hard enough to set aside time to pray with our spouses, and when we do, it is usually our own family we lift up in prayer....so, I challenge you to take it a step further. For 30 days, take a few minutes to pray with your spouse - for your family AND for a family that God places on your heart.
Then, sit back and watch God move!
Each morning we choose a family to pray for. We pray for the health and safety for each individual in that particular family. Then, after we have prayed for that family, we pray for our own family. It is hard enough to set aside time to pray with our spouses, and when we do, it is usually our own family we lift up in prayer....so, I challenge you to take it a step further. For 30 days, take a few minutes to pray with your spouse - for your family AND for a family that God places on your heart.
Then, sit back and watch God move!
January 26, 2010
Count Your Blessings
I met a woman today whose 32 year old husband, and the father of her 5 year old son and 18 month old daughter, was diagnosed in October 2009 with the EXACT same cancer as Wes was diagnosed with in May of the same year: stage 4 metastatic testicular cancer that spread to the lymph system and both lungs. His chemo regime was identical to Wes's. In December, two weeks before Christmas, her husband slipped into a coma. He had developed an infection because his immune system was compromised (related to chemo) and the infection spread through out his body (sepsis). He went into respiratory failure on Christmas Day, was revived but has been declared as being in a "complete irreversible vegetative state." Now, this woman is facing the decision of removing her husband from life support or transferring him to a skilled nursing facility, where he would remain in the vegetative state indefinitely.
Needless to say, when I heard this story, I excused myself, went to the nearest restroom, vomitted and then sat on the floor and wept.
That could have been us. Praise God Wes was not exposed to any infection when his WBCs were next to nothing. Praise God that he is here, alive, well, and without any deficits. Again, I weep. We were spared.
I walked out of the restroom and saw a picture of Wendy Roberts. As you may remember, her husband, Ron, is a local weather forcaster and years ago he had a major hemorrhagic stroke. By God's divine plan, the book Wendy wrote about their experience ended up in my hands weeks after Wes was diagnosed with cancer. Her book inspired me, uplifted me, and put words to the grief and fear I was feeling as I saw my husband battle for his life. I had this odd feeling, as I thought of Wendy, the woman I met today, myself, and countless others - we are survivors. No, we were not inflicted with the disease itself, but in the face of tragedy, we cared for our children, paid bills, brought in income, fixed dinner, cleaned up chemo-induced vomit - you get the picture. I have fought shame and self-hatred so long: feeling I wasn't good enough, I never did enough, I couldn't handle enough. But, I looked in the eyes of the woman I spoke with today, then saw the picture of Wendy....I felt a new appreciation for my strength, and my spirit. Despite all the criticism I have received (and continue to receive) I AM A SURVIVOR. I am among that group of women like Wendy Roberts that fought through and survived. I am proud to be in that group of women. I am stronger than I ever knew.
I came home, after the conversation I had with the young wife earlier today, and hugged Wes with everything in me!!!!! He looked at me like I was nutty, but I just told him "I am glad you are home. I am glad you are here. I love you." And, I do - I love him more everyday.
Count your blessings....I know I am!!!
Needless to say, when I heard this story, I excused myself, went to the nearest restroom, vomitted and then sat on the floor and wept.
That could have been us. Praise God Wes was not exposed to any infection when his WBCs were next to nothing. Praise God that he is here, alive, well, and without any deficits. Again, I weep. We were spared.
I walked out of the restroom and saw a picture of Wendy Roberts. As you may remember, her husband, Ron, is a local weather forcaster and years ago he had a major hemorrhagic stroke. By God's divine plan, the book Wendy wrote about their experience ended up in my hands weeks after Wes was diagnosed with cancer. Her book inspired me, uplifted me, and put words to the grief and fear I was feeling as I saw my husband battle for his life. I had this odd feeling, as I thought of Wendy, the woman I met today, myself, and countless others - we are survivors. No, we were not inflicted with the disease itself, but in the face of tragedy, we cared for our children, paid bills, brought in income, fixed dinner, cleaned up chemo-induced vomit - you get the picture. I have fought shame and self-hatred so long: feeling I wasn't good enough, I never did enough, I couldn't handle enough. But, I looked in the eyes of the woman I spoke with today, then saw the picture of Wendy....I felt a new appreciation for my strength, and my spirit. Despite all the criticism I have received (and continue to receive) I AM A SURVIVOR. I am among that group of women like Wendy Roberts that fought through and survived. I am proud to be in that group of women. I am stronger than I ever knew.
I came home, after the conversation I had with the young wife earlier today, and hugged Wes with everything in me!!!!! He looked at me like I was nutty, but I just told him "I am glad you are home. I am glad you are here. I love you." And, I do - I love him more everyday.
Count your blessings....I know I am!!!
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